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Encouraging Your Children to Give

by Alison -- Being Savvy Albuquerque

During a recent shopping trip, my four-year-old and my husband came up a secret sign that my son would show anytime he saw something he thought I would like.  I know I won't be getting any of those things (I think it was maybe a ploy to keep him occupied) but it was so fun to see him excited about finding things that he thought I would like. 

It can be hard to get preschoolers excited about giving.  They tend to be egocentric by nature at this age, so getting them to think of others can be a challenge.  Last year, my son really was not so into giving.  I think I may have been partially to blame.  He very much likes to be in charge, so when I told him specifically what I wanted him to make for grandma and grandpa, he was not very willing.  In fact, he totally refused and as a result there was no gift from him to his grandparents.  This year, I want to take on a new approach.

I realize that something given by a four-year-old does not need to be perfect.  Anything made by him will make his grandparents smile, so really I just need to take a backseat and for the most part, let him do what he wants to do.  I think that at this young age, it really is the thought that counts.  What is important is that he is thinking of others and putting some effort into giving something to them. 

Two weeks ago, my son received a little note from one of his friends, he was ecstatic and couldn't wait to draw a picture for this friend and return the favor.  A drawing for another person is a very simple and basic gesture, but when it's done with someone else in mind, it's teaching him to give.  This year, I'll ask him what he thinks about making some gifts for his friends.  I'll suggest we make some cookies, or that he draws a picture for each one.  If he wants to, it'll be a fun family project, if not, it's okay.

This year, I'm letting him take the lead.  I think that will make for a much more positive outcome.